blackboard.

here is a bibliography ( in no particular order) to my written education of the past year, i recommend each of these books in one way or another because they influenced this season in some way.



the emboldened titles were especially influential or resonant:



Celebration of Discipline- Richard J. Foster

Beyond Charity- Dr. John M. Perkins

Teaching Community: A Pedagogy Of Hope- bell hooks

Cat's Cradle- Kurt Vonnegut

Jesus & The Disinherited- Howard Thurman

Freedom, Sex, Economy, Community- Wendell Berry

Out Of Solitude- Henri Nouwen

Why Are All The Black Kids All Sitting Together In The Lunch Room?... And Other Conversations On Race- Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum

On The Road- Jack Keruac

The Four Canonized Gospels-

Nickel & Dimed- Barbara Erhenreich

Irresistible Revolution- Shane Claiborne

Wild Years: The Myth & Music Of Tom Waits- Jay S. Jacobs

Living More With Less- Doris Janzen Longacre

Telling Secrets- Frederik Buechner

Saint Francis- G. K. Chesterton

Burt Me Standing- Isabel Fonseca

Freedom Of Simplicity- Richard J. Foster

The Masnavi, Book One - Jalal al-Din Rumi ( translated by Jawid Mojaddedi )

Faces Of Latin America- Duncan Green

The Corner: A Year In The Life Of An Inner-City Neighborhood- David Simon, Edward Burns

Ragamuffin Gospel- Brennan Manning

( What's Currently Known As...) The Old Testament-

Orpheus Emerges- Jack Keruac

Velvet Elvis- Rob Bell

I, Rigoberta Menchu- Rigoberta Menchu ( translated by Ann Wright)

Leaves Of Grass- Walt Whitman

Zen & The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance- Robert M. Pirsig

Death Of A Salesman- Arthur Miller

Various Essays On Community- Jean Vanier, M. Scott Peck, John Alexander

More Than Serving Tea- Nikki A. Toyama, Tracy Gee, Kathy Khang, Christie Heller De Leon, Asifa Dean

Conscience & Obedience- William Stringfellow

Naked Lunch- William S. Burroughs

Many Articles In These Periodicals: ADbusters, Geez, The Defenestrator, Sojourners, Relevant, The Catholic Worker


so, turns out i read a lot more with no TV/movies, no consistent inter-web access, and roughly 12 CDs/tapes. I highly recommend it!

change and spare change.

in 5 hours i will hop on a bus and travel to new mexico, then meet up with some friends and travel to the western coast of california. i think it is fitting that i end this year with a trip from the east coast to the west coast. even if it is long, full of new people and different situations and grueling at times because all of these have described this year.

i can scarce wrap my head around how many incredible friends i have found here. so many that i said bye to that mean so much to me. To finally know a city and then to leave is pretty drastic of a change. to finally know some great and true friends in the said city and then to leave is pretty devastating. There have been alot of long and tough goodbyes, but cheerful in hopes of seeing one another again, whether here or somewhere else along the way.

so here i am left much like the beginning of this adventure, leaving many great friends and family to meet some new ones and to learn more about Truth and Love and what that has to do with how i am to treat others.

I am honored to be here and to have shared life with so much great family.


Pan de Vida, cuerpo del Señor,
cup of blessing, blood of Christ the Lord.
At this table the last shall be first.
Poder es servir, porque Dios es amor.

growing and shaking.

I've had the honor of being in a couple of my friends' weddings recently. weddings are fun, a union of love and a reunion of old friends. But my buddy Drew got married and his mother was an absolute emotional wreck, in the most loving and endearing way.

I have a friend named Naomi. She used to a stripper in Atlantic City,NJ. The first time i met her, she fed me tons of great microwaveable food and necklaces ( the necklaces we're necisarily microwaveable). she is one of the most generous people i know. She was also pregnant and that's why she was out of work and at the shelter where i live most mornings.

My friends mother was crying during the rehearsal of the wedding. and she was crying during the lunch following that, she was weeping for the beauty of a child moving to another stage of life.

One night this past fall Naomi was beaten severely and robbed. Her front four teeth are pushed back so they face inward and the roots of those teeth are exposed. The baby she was carrying was still alive though, miraculously.

While we were rehearsing for the wedding and eating lunch i couldn't help but notice how often my friends mom would just look at him and smile and then begin to be a bit soggy eyed. it was incredible though, to think about people growing and changing and becoming united with someone else. Those glances from a loving mother were priceless.

Whether from the pain, or depression of being out of a job or just being around certain folks in Camden-- Naomi started to medicate with crack cocaine. we didn't see Naomi for about six months, i often thought and prayed for her and the child she was carrying. I would pray most often that she would get enough rest for them both.

When it finally came time for the marriage ceremony, the wedding co-ordinator said that my friend was to escort his mom to her seat. He thought that would be a terrible idea because she would "probably pass out."

I saw Naomi about a month ago and she had given birth to a beautiful baby girl named Angelina. She was of healthy weight and size, but because of her addictions, Naomi was not allowed to take Angelina home until she had been clean for a certain alotment of time. But Naomi was hopeful, she said that her daughter is worth more than addiction.

When Drew went to his mother to walk her down the isle, she almost dropped. She was trembling and weeping. She would take a few steps then stop to wobble. Then walk a couple more steps and then stop and weep. It was an intense moment of change. something is lost, yet something is gained. An addition of family-- a new growth of a child.

I saw Naomi yesterday and gave her a hug and asked how she was doing. she said her usual " howahya?" some how connecting every word perfectly with the next in classic Jersey accent. and said that she was good. She said that she would get to keep Angelina in two months. i didn't notice it at first. but she was trembling, her hands wouldn't stay still. the slight twitchings in her back went into her knees and shoulders. She looked at me and said, " i know i'm shaking, but i'm not getting high any more, i tremble to get better. i feel better; i can't wait to take Angelina home."

red rover, red rover send summer right over.

there has been a lot going on as of late here in Camden and in my life so i reckon i'll just share a smattering of it:

i was in two weddings of very dear friends of mine. Getting hitched, crazy. it makes the third of my friends to be united with another. a pretty huge and substantial moment in their lives and in mine. it also seems to be a re-union of old and new friends which is always exciting and full of lots of laughter and tears. i'm so thankful for friends that i am accountable to and share so many experiences with.

my position in camden is also changing, after school is over because, well, school is over, so comes summer camp! i will not be directly working with the camp, because of other new interns with Urban Promise coming in, but i will be helping support those folks. I will be gathering food for the interns as well as coaching a sixth grade boys basketball team... i've never played organized basketball in my life, so this should be an adventure. i figure we'll just scrimmage alot and get ice cream. sounds like a plan to me! I'll also be teaching a class to high school staff members about any subject of my choosing. i haven't decided what to teach, but if anyone has suggestions i'm totally open(i say that as if people read this-- i would say my mom reads this, but she once took a computer class and when we asked her how it was she said she couldn't hear anything because of an AC unit that was too loud. she was too polite to ask to move or turn it off. so my mom is still a bit afraid of the interweb, but so am i). I'll still be working at the homeless shelter and then i'll be spending a bit more time in a public garden tending a plot.

to cinch the year of afterschool program we held an awards banquet noting great kids for their effort and love. it was one of the best nights of the year in my opinion. i sat and watched as kids would get awards for best grades and then the parents would lift the kid high in the air and laugh and cry in joy as they showered the kid with hugs and tons of kisses. it was so incredible to see that happen over and over again and see how warm and complete kind of night it was where we just celebrated life and God's provision of family. i don't think i will be quick to forget that night.

i will be going back to school (belmont university, go bruins!?) and completing my degree in graphic design, i will be living in a different part of Nashville than i have previously to try and maintain what i've been learning about people who are oppressed. i am moving to an area where i can more fully take on joys and sorrows along side those who are in oppressed areas. I will be living in a community house called nashville greenlands. i am nervous about it simply because i will not be around the family of friends that i have known thus far, but i think that it will be really beneficial to the transition from Camden back to the buckle of the Bible belt.

i hope all is well. i am still bearded, but not for long!!!

-wil/

Carolina Home/put out the beard! or i just figured out how this whole blogging thing works.

OK, so i am pretty new to the whole blogging thing and just now, April 14th 2007. figured out that people can leave comments and i just figured out how to read them. So-- a very late thank you to everyone who left comments like 5-7 months ago. They have been hugely encouraging! i feel like a big jerk, sorry.

I am in North Carolina right now and enjoying my last day here. It snowed on Easter morning and was really beautiful. i got to see many good friends and spend time with my momma and pa and my older brother Chris. It ahs been fantastic being in the mountains and makes me realize how much they are in my blood.

three days ago i went to the Nantahala Valley "home of the noon-day sun" and went fishin with my pa. he is an incredible fisherman and i am not. i love being outside and being in the water and most of all smoking cigars with my dad. It was quite windy when we were out on the creek and i had to lean the cigar in a downward fashion to get the darn thing lit. In doing so i also lit my wildbeast of a beard on fire. I suppose i could have stopped, dropped and rolled, but i chose a different method, frantically smack my face as quickly as possible-- then start laughing really hard at what just happened.

my dad caught about a baker's dozen of speck, rainbow and brown trout and i caught two brown trout.

i eventually also fell into the water and had to wear a pair of my dad's old bright green corduroy pants that he always keeps in the truck just in case he falls in.

While i've been home i've been trying to pray and spend time learning and listening to how i can focus more in this last third of the year and to be fully present in Camden. Tonight i take a 13 hour train back up to Philly. It is supposed to rain upon most of the east coast and i am excited for the return to home--as my friends Farah and Joshua say:

home is a fluid concept.

I'd like for this prayer of St. Francis of Assisi to be a guide for the rest of my time in Camden and for the rest of my life:

Seigneur, faites de moi un instrument de votre paix.
Là où il y a de la haine, que je mette l’amour.
Là où il y a l’offense, que je mette le pardon.
Là où il y a la discorde, que je mette l’union.
Là où il y a l’erreur, que je mette la vérité.
Là où il y a le doute, que je mette la foi.
Là où il y a le désespoir, que je mette l’espérance.
Là où il y a les ténèbres, que je mette votre lumière.
Là où il y a la tristesse, que je mette la joie.


Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, let me sow pardon;
where there is doubt, let me sow faith;
where there is despair, let me sow hope;
where there is darkness, let me sow light;
and where there is sadness, let me sow joy.

love
-will

Miss Carol

Frank's place. This is what everyone on the street calls the homeless shelter where i volunteer. i have never met this alleged Frank, nor will i ever. It's funny how a name from over 15 years ago will stick, even when the official name was changed over 7 years ago to New Visions.

Everymorning when i arrive at the shelter, I get a big hug and usually a small, harmless, personal attack from Miss Carol( this is how i know i'm on her good side... i don't think she has a bad side though...). She is the saint who makes everything run at Frank's place. She has dedicated the past 14 years of her life to the poor, the elderly, the widows and the children of Camden through her ministry. She only sits to eat breakfast, "i don't sit down, because my feet will swell up if i do." she walks around and talks trash with the homeless folks, "just so they know i care" she will say. She will bring candy and toys to young children "i give children anything they want, because it is not their fault they are here." she carries the weight of people very high on her shoulders.

the other morning we arrived a bit early and sat with Miss Carol as she was eating breakfast. She also takes alot of pills for diabetes, high blood pressure, and many others for various health issues. She sat there toying with her various pills. We began to hear a story about one of miss Carol's favorite Homeless men. His name was Bishop, and "he was a horrible man." she describes. He used to do alot of Heroin, he stopped. He used to get with alot of women, he stopped. somewhere along the got HIV. He had been homeless for 22 years. Miss Carol said that he got drugs for HIV for free from a nearby homeless outreach center, She would sit there with him every morning and make him take the pills.

as she sat there, she picked up the first pill and said, " Bishop would tell me how these pills, (holding a gel-cap) would stick to your throat. He would tell me that these pills ( holding up those huge horse-sized uncoated pills) would choke you before you could swallow them.

She told us how he used to hate taking them, and would hide them, and then someone would snitch that he had hidden them, and Miss Carol would "confront" him and make him take the pills. She said one day, after year of taking the medication, he said he was done. "Bishop just stopped taking them, three days later, he went to bed and didn't wake up." She didn't say anything else for a long time as she began to take the pills

finally she looked at us with watery eyes and said "I think of Bishop every morning because of these little things." and took the last one.

there are some moments that alter the courses of our varied lives.

new year, same beard or a visual travel guide of sorts.

two of my best friends were wedded in the magical land of holland, michigan. it was incredible and i am so pumped to know them. ah, life is beautiful, no?



i also got to stop in for the new year in fort wayne, IN to spend time with some more of my best friends, pictured above is the celebration as the clock struck midnight. Ah, life is beautiful, no?




i also got to meet up again with my bro j. longbrake. he and i went to europe and had big beards and trusted God alot. i guess now the only thing that changed is that we're not in europe. and i only trust God when it feels convenient, sad but unfortunately true, -- i am trying to rely on God in the same manner once again. ah, life is beautiful, no?


i think home truly is a fluid concept. i am excited about going back to camden though. i miss it.