Friday, June 15, 2007

growing and shaking.

I've had the honor of being in a couple of my friends' weddings recently. weddings are fun, a union of love and a reunion of old friends. But my buddy Drew got married and his mother was an absolute emotional wreck, in the most loving and endearing way.


I have a friend named Naomi. She used to a stripper in Atlantic City,NJ. The first time i met her, she fed me tons of great microwaveable food and necklaces ( the necklaces we're necisarily microwaveable). she is one of the most generous people i know. She was also pregnant and that's why she was out of work and at the shelter where i live most mornings.


My friends mother was crying during the rehearsal of the wedding. and she was crying during the lunch following that, she was weeping for the beauty of a child moving to another stage of life.


One night this past fall Naomi was beaten severely and robbed. Her front four teeth are pushed back so they face inward and the roots of those teeth are exposed. The baby she was carrying was still alive though, miraculously.


While we were rehearsing for the wedding and eating lunch i couldn't help but notice how often my friends mom would just look at him and smile and then begin to be a bit soggy eyed. it was incredible though, to think about people growing and changing and becoming united with someone else. Those glances from a loving mother were priceless.


Whether from the pain, or depression of being out of a job or just being around certain folks in Camden-- Naomi started to medicate with crack cocaine. we didn't see Naomi for about six months, i often thought and prayed for her and the child she was carrying. I would pray most often that she would get enough rest for them both.


When it finally came time for the marriage ceremony, the wedding co-ordinator said that my friend was to escort his mom to her seat. He thought that would be a terrible idea because she would "probably pass out."


I saw Naomi about a month ago and she had given birth to a beautiful baby girl named Angelina. She was of healthy weight and size, but because of her addictions, Naomi was not allowed to take Angelina home until she had been clean for a certain alotment of time. But Naomi was hopeful, she said that her daughter is worth more than addiction.

When Drew went to his mother to walk her down the isle, she almost dropped. She was trembling and weeping. She would take a few steps then stop to wobble. Then walk a couple more steps and then stop and weep. It was an intense moment of change. something is lost, yet something is gained. An addition of family-- a new growth of a child.

I saw Naomi yesterday and gave her a hug and asked how she was doing. she said her usual " howahya?" some how connecting every word perfectly with the next in classic Jersey accent. and said that she was good. She said that she would get to keep Angelina in two months. i didn't notice it at first. but she was trembling, her hands wouldn't stay still. the slight twitchings in her back went into her knees and shoulders. She looked at me and said, " i know i'm shaking, but i'm not getting high any more, i tremble to get better. i feel better; i can't wait to take Angelina home."